Debt and Death

Unintentionally I’ve been surrounded by a barrage of reminders of the sanctity of life. Mentioned my grandmother passing away several weeks ago, but more recently my friend’s dad passed just this week after ongoing health issues. I attended the wake and really had a hard time keeping it all together. It brought me right back to May 2004 when I was a 20 year old kid whose life would never be the same again.

You can’t take it with you, but at the same time planning for the future is a constant high priority. Politics aside, I don’t believe the US Government is going to be able to keep its retirement promises when it’s time for me to retire in the 2040s/2050s. I teeter-totter between the idea of working in another company that has less of a career path but would pay over 50% more. Different field, long-term the skills would not be as transferrable and politics. Do I want to give my soul over to the devil just to get out of debt faster? Long-term, industries are constantly changing. Who knows what types of verticals will still be around vs those phased out by innovation.

Gone back to reading some Tony Robbins material after years of the information collecting dust. The quote that resonates most: “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” My decision-making skills need improvement. It is particularly challenging for me to commit to taking certain actions. The incessant and annoying voice in my mind paralyzes me from taking action. I suppose age and risk tolerance also play a role here. Quite honestly, I don’t want to make a decision that will screw up my future. I’ve settled too long and every single time I went against my gut instinct things just got worse.

After not seeing a concert since No Doubt in 2003 a friend invited me and my partner our to see Jennifer Lopez and Enrique Iglesias. Tickets were $40, parking $20 (though I didn’t pay anything), and $25 on drinks. The seats were super high up though we did move up a couple aisles after seeing empty seats. Still high up, but much better views and we could actually see the stage / tv screen. The performance was nothing short of electrifying. Dancers, singers and the energy of the crowd. Enrique had two guys on stage who were dating. I would not have expected it in Texas, but I’m not complaining. I don’t have a radical gay agenda but it’s just nice to be accepted for who you are.

Up late watching Princess right now. CNBC show about women who spend radically large amounts of money on frivolous items, borrow money from other people and have an entitlement attitude. Assuming they change their ways, the prize is $5000. If they fall short, they get less or nothing. My upbringing is almost the complete opposite. I knew we weren’t wealthy since around the age of 5.

Looks like I won’t have to use my credit card to get through the rest of the week, which is a big plus for me. Really looking to get the credit card under $1000. I honestly never thought it would take this long to pay off just one bill. Not getting stressed, it is what it is, but really not as bad as I make it out to be.

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